KIM NOBLE ON : being disabled
last month i was asked to provide a film, previously made, for a forthcoming event at the soho curzon cinema.
i was happy to oblige as the short film entitled: How to survive a terrorist attack, was banned from an event at the Tate last year.
However the event at the cinema is discribed as : Short Films and Discussion On The Disabled Vanguard.
Now i’m delighted to be labelled ‘disabled’. but i’m unsure exactly why?
I dont use one of these:
(although i did wheel myself round a shopping precinct in Preston many years ago)
but
i am dyslexic.
i did once shit myself.
i suffer from occasional mental disturbances.
i have ginger hair.
and bad breath.
I’m happy with these to be used as my reason for joining the ‘less-abled’ amongst us as long as i can now officially park here:
link to film at curzon on 8th nov 09
KIM NOBLE “The Loneliness of The Anwara Tandoori Takeaway” opens 29th October
With a Private View and exhibition to promote, i am worried about the marketing campaign.
I decided to use up to the minute methods: by sending an email, which thus far has instigated 213 Mail System Undelivered Messages returned and 16 ‘Out of Office’ auto responses and 1 bitch called cathy who wanted me to be removed from my address book.
my spirits have been dramatically lifted when i read Duncan Bannatyne’s “Anyone Can Do It”.
He said its not the amount of contacts you have…its the quality. so i went for a different approach.
a highly selective marketing campaign to identify the best ‘clients’ i can get.
i was in tescos metro.
i spotted a very nice lady buying a blue 20009/2010 diary…
i realised she was the exact person i need to attract.
so i wrote in another diary
then placed it back on the shelf
and left it there…so hopefully who ever buys that diary….
….will come to the exhibition.
______________________________________________________________________________
“The Loneliness of Anwara Tandoori Takeaway”
As the 5th solo intervention at Domobaal, during the exhibition, “Time Is A Sausage” ;
I will be showing a new installation entitled “The Loneliness Of The Anwara Tandoori Takeaway”
The mini show takes place over 3 days:
29/10 – 31/10
Private view (all welcome) :
29/10 6-8pm
Time is a Sausage
17/09 – 19/12
DOMOBAAL
3 JOHN STREET LONDON WC1N 2ES
T+44 20 7242 9604 M+44 7801703871
THURSDAY TO SATURDAY 12 TO 6 PM
www.domobaal.com
www.mrkimnoble.com
KIM NOBLE ON: A-HA Breakup
[polldaddy poll=2162357]
Results for the A-HA Break up will be shown soon i thank you all.
KIM NOBLE ON : Caring for people with depression
MY darlings
please read the london underground signage on the northern line for priority seating.
i believe they’ve made a mistake. it should thus:
so next time please give up your seat for a manic depressive whose done well to make it this far.
KIM NOBLE ON “How to Practice Peace and understanding
I’ve been attending buddhist teachings on a wednesday night in my local library. We are told to be more accepting of everyone and everything. but on my way home…
…this man was taking a wee in the street, slyly opening his car door, opening his fly and then urinating.
I photographed him as he was shaking his penis. But I imagine it looked like this.
(This image has been mosaiced, so not to cause offence and is not to scale)
At first I was outraged.
But anger turned to acceptance, even love, as I returned home and remembered that 4 nights before, I was caught short myself in the middle of the night and only had a fresh orange juice bottle with a little left in, to hand.
I got home and looked at that partly filled bottle in a different light.
It now sits proudly on my bed side table as a reminder to accept people with different ways, habits and cultures.
Ironically it was in a SAINBURYS TASTE THE DIFFERENCE bottle.
KIM NOBLE ON: How To Quit Smoking
The Warning signs on cigarette packets are not working.
Cigarette sales are up 2.1% (maybe)
I’m smoking more than ever, even though the warnings say “SMOKING KILLS” or “A LONG PAINFUL DEATH”.
I phoned the government department responsible and spoke to Dave.
I suggested a change in tack.
Use warnings that smokers would feel less comfortable with;
Packets that smokers would not want to associate with. I.e no one wants to be a paedophiles. Do they. Do they? Cigarette sales would plummet 1.6% in the 1st month (maybe)
My suggestions :
or
or
KIM NOBLE ON: how cars helped save our planet yesterday
I didn’t know him.
But I got a pretty good idea he died yesterday on high holborn.
The incident happened only moments before the 171, I was on, passed him by.
I don’t think he feel from the sky.
So I assume he was hit by a vehicle, possibly a ford focus.
But the feeling I had was one of enormous joy;
He might have been a nob.
And that’s a scientific fact.
I made the calculation; out of everyone I’ve meet/known/or seen at least 60% fall into the bracket of ‘people who annoy me’
Therefore, the chances are, he was a fucken dick. A complete arsehole.
no one around seemed to give two hoots about him; the postman, the lady with a bike eating a snickers, the fella asking the police for directions to the council offices.
no one cared, apart from those being paid to do so, even the woman hovering over the body was asking if they could push it over to the gutter, because she was in a rush to drop the kids off at the pool (and by that i mean she wanted a shit).
I feel for his parents though.Having to bring him up.
They must be well chuffed.
High Holbern 6.16 Yesterday
Good I say.
More sacrifices please.
There are too many of us anyway.
kim noble on – how to read more.
yesterday I decided not to enter next years X FACTOR, I’m going to reject the chance to perform on AMERICANS SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, I’m going to throw caution to the wind and rebuff my opportunity to be on BRITAINS GOT TALENT. BIG BROTHERS only got one more series anyway and I’m not realy a celebrity (even though I did once get offered a vodaphone advert and I once auditioned for a harry hill pilot) so im not going to the jungle. I’m thankful because it means in 2010 I’ll have a bit more time on my hands. I plan to do some do some reading.
kim noble on deception
a wonder spot. in cornwall. the sun shone down. everything tranquil (from a distance)
yet looks can be deceptive. things under more scrutiny aren’t always so pleasant .
take a nice ready meal from morrisons. it may look tasty on the packet, yet 30 minutes in 190 oven and its transformed into something resembling cooked and bleached cat food…
what a shame then as one strolls across sandy beaches in idyllic surroundings one discovers that…
Kim Noble on LONELINESS
this is Anwara Tandoori.
i pass it everyday
i wave to the man inside
he waves back
i’ve walked passed it most days, for 3 years now.
he never has customers
he works alone.
i occasional pop in and order a jal fraze
and a prawn puree.
we chat briefly about how slow business is.
i like him.
he is a genlte old man, but i cant help feeling how lonely he must be sat there every day waiting for orders that never come.
i once asked him to step outside to see the amusing roadworksign outside his take away
i thought it might cheer him up.
.
but it didn’t.
