ENGLAND I HATE YOU (an ode to the team)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3Jy02W3nso&hl=en&fs=1]
X-Box, Play station and lesbian death
The latest war in game consoling sees the arrival of Ps3 motion controller. It gives gamers “complete movement and power in gaming” said one man with glasses
The new console allows the gamer to “actualy live the game” as demonstrated above in the game: “Fuck You Lesbian”. Taking the role of Endonrono, the all powerful TimeLord of planet Nibula, you seek out, finger and destroy any number of “bitchos”.
Not to be outdone, Wii fit have upped the anti with Wii fit Resort 2. A representive mentioned that it is almost like the real thing. Gamers are given a ‘frisbee’ to throw to a friend in a park. The action and movement are “exactly the same as actually throwing a real frisbee”.
Other Games include: Table Tennis. In a similar vein, the consule is placed in the cupboard and replaced with a virtually identical bat, ball and table, down at the local leasure centre. Players literaly play ping pong in the usual way.
The Man said “the movement is identical to real life, allowing freedom and control”
happy gamers return from playing Wii fit Tennis
FALLING IN LOVE, TITS AND CAMPING (a short film)
A SHORT FILM (about getting turned on in Topshop and other issues)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7BAkPQfb44&hl=en_US&fs=1&]
KIM NOBLE : WORLD CUP DISCHARGE
A WORLD CUP FEVER
a recent report stated that as many as 68% of employee’s questioned would consider skipping work to watch the games.
another report stated that the output of workforces across the country may drop by 5% over the coming month.
I, for one, haven’t produced anything of note during the build up,
except this globule of mucus, resulting from a sore-throat and slight fever.
i was amazed and thrilled to see the shape of my discharge resembled the shape of our green and pleasant land…without the useless bits (wales and scotland).
Come On Eng er land…
KIM NOBLE : Always the brides maid. (How to cope with weddings if you’re single)
(“…standing at the door, watching the taxi leave, he realised that everything he ever wanted… was in it.”)
The Nominees for a new temporary partner to alleviate feelings of loneliness, desolation and failure during 6 forthcoming weddings this summer are:
A blow Up Doll
PRO’s: No complaints in the sack
CON’s :Not thrilling round the table conversation
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An 80's football Manager
PRO’S: I would appear smitten, It being Bobby Campbell, and my friends would say: “wow, doesn’t he look happy”.
CON’s : having just bumped into him in the street i doubt his availability & possible complaints in the sack.
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modular outdoor flooring system
PRO’s : Impressive after dinner chat when subject amongst couples turn to the subject of ‘decking’.
CON’s : Not sure of there dietary requirements.
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A dead woman
PRO’s : no complaints in the sack
CON’s : might look awkward in the wedding photos.
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my web
KIM NOBLE : Where comedy comes from
I was recently asked during a shit radio interview in Liverpool, where humour comes from.
WORDS ON TOP OF A SINGLE DECKER BUS
i saw this reference number on top of a bus roof.
Another passed with the reference : GAG M1247
and then another : GAG ME4543
Is there a huge gag and joke database in the sky that God can look down on and reference when he needs cheering up…
kim noble And Podiums
This evening at an event at the the ica i open my mouth and i stand behind one of these
i’d rather be standing behind on of these:
and i’d even go as far as saying that this would be more preferential:
(what will come out of my mouth: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue)
KIM NOBLE : Who would you like to die with in a lift?
This is how the emergency signs should read.
A truthful lift sign
[polldaddy poll=3128616]
RESULTS NEXT WEEK.
KIM NOBLE : is a ginger prick & Rohypnol
Today i bought a Bible… but i digress….
I was recently described amongst other things as being a ginger prick at student comedy night.
(and yes, i agree, do have a disgusting stomach…but its not as bad as it was a few years back during the pregnancy)
me pregnant
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6b5M2SmP3Q&hl=en_US&fs=1&]
Although factually incorrect in places i have taken onboard all comments made…
I digress….today i bought a bible and on the way home i saw this woman who seemed so lovely and peaceful that i decided to leave her to another would be attacker.
an advertisement for Rohypnol & Rape or Oxford Landing's Sauvignon Blanc or Investment in The Underground
KIM NOBLE ON: Love Affairs and murder.
A lady writes a text on the underground:
“Gav. I think Sara is going to be fine. I spoke to her. She knows. She is upset but OK. Luv you.”
Thats what the text said. I feel sorry for you Sara. Where-ever you are Sara…I am thinking about you.
On your behalf Sara i thought i could push the texting lady on to the rails.
but I don’t know the backstory…and i remember during a session of relationship counselling i had some years back it was noted that i re-act without knowing the whole picture. So i didn’t take any action this time. This time.
In my head this is how i imagine you Sara.
SARA
And its a relief to see you looking so happy now and hopeful have put ‘the incident’ to the back of your mind.
Take Care Sara. Whoever you are.x
