TARTARE SAUCE

vote on who dies live

SATURDAY NIGHT from 9pm someone will die live on a webcam broadcast

YOU DECIDE:

[polldaddy poll=4775504]
broadcast hours
fri 9pm
sat 9pm
sun 9pm

KIM NOBLE &WHO SHOULD DIE (part7)

WHO SHOULD DIE (part7) :GREGG WALLACE (off masterchef) HOW: Shoot close range WHY: Loud, fat, cunt.

KIM NOBLE on SELF ASSESSMENT TAX RETURNS

Tax doesn’t have to be taxing says Moira Stewart on the advert.

Being a freelancing nob, once a year i have to trail through my reciepts…and this year…behind the crumpled strips of paper….

….a story unfolded of a relationship, resturant bills, spiralling mobile bills, bar drinks, flowers …and then nothing. The relationship was over.

In order for the next financial year to be just as interesting i’ve taken to buying women’s lingerie and condoms…so my tax return for next year, 2009/10 will tell just as interesting story.

KIM NOBLE on INVESTMENT bankers

Bankers come in for a lot of shit these days…but i’ve realised how quickly investments can go wrong:

looking at ebay, i noticed someone was trying to sell a flyer from the recent show i was involved in.

i felt delirious…over joyed. Not only was it wonderous for a deflated ego….the finical benefits could be massive.

i’ve a whole pile of flyers i was to embarrased to give out….and here in front of me was a chance to not only clear them from below my bed, but get rid of the shed loads still left at the theatre. I could now begin to think about setting aside some money for a deposit.  (i’m not exactly sure what i need a deposit for yet though)

joy turned to pain however as i noticed at 99p no one had even bid. i tried bidding myself, to up my statue in the market place. However i forgot my password and failed the security.
LIFES A CUNT.

Prologue: although i have nothing to do with the watches on sale under my name, i would, fully endorse them, and personally consider them official merchandise along with this promotional video.

KIM NOBLE ON: Bill Hicks mum and my mum

tonight is my last show…and its made me think..
a month ago i met and had my photo taken with Bill Hick’s mum at a screening of a film about the performer.

it made me think if anyone will want their photo taken of my mum when i go.
the actual logistics would be tricky as my mum doesnt get up to town that often and she runs a book circle on a monday.

so i’ve decided to bring out a poster of her and me with a whole cut in it to put your face instead of mine.
it will look a bit like this

it will retail at £5.99
it will be made of recyclable materials
proceeds will go to retards and famine victims.