INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY
Ever Looked at the ‘Bic’ logo and thought….what the hell is that strange man hiding behind his back? Why doesn’t he just come clean for once? let the us see Bic-man.
[slideshow]
National breast-feeding week
for the 5th year running i missed National Breast Feeding Week, so i'm trying to make up for it this week
LONDON RIOTS & foreskins
After the rioting and unrest its important to get some perspective on the situation.
i got some the other night. i was in a public house toilet. and i had just finished a wee and was doing up my fly’s when i caught a bit of my foreskin in the zipper.
it was horrifically painful.
all my problems, the disenfranchised youth, rising water levels, crazed norwegian gunmen, olympic tickets …all that stuff was of no importance to me at all any more…as i stood in agony contemplating the next highly complex task of foreskin de-entanglement.
Why not forget about societies woes and try it yourself?*
*females and those males in the darkly marked areas of the map need not apply
Fancy a change of career? Why not join the Police Force?
police have the 2nd highest rate of divorce of any profession.
and they are 3 times more likely to die in their own hands than in the cause of duty.
so i decided to comfort one of them…
i was then presented with the opportunity to
discover close up what it actually felt like to be one
i initially became a power-crazied w*****, and felt i should change my name to Keith…but these feelings subsided to just wanting to arrest someone from an ethnic minority and shoot a innocent brazilian. i now earn £35,979, have a drinking problem and find interaction with people outside of the force very difficult. i hated myself before..but i hate myself even more now. move along please..nothing to see here.
Happy to die
These guys always seem so contented to be killed in a horrific plane crash. i wish i was more like them.
Why Do We Like Celebrity Chefs (they are tossers)
I don’t like many human subspecies
but one i despise the most are celebrity chefs.
So i was delighted to finally be given the opportunity to make my comprehensive feelings know to them.
Is celebrity chef Greg Wallace a tosser? Yes he is.
They must to be told. It can’t continue
More celebrity chefs must know our feelings and soon we can live in a land free of their tyranny & duck a l’orange.
