HOLY WATER (with added Lilt)
i went to a catholic church recently by mistake.
i noticed all the holy water was running low. (either due to evaporation in hot weather or a lot of catholics needing to dowse themselves due to their sins)
i thought i’d do my bit and fill up the various recepticles, using a bottle of Volic with a twist of Strawberry. Its all i had.
but the main ‘bucket’ of holy water was also running low
so i popped to the newsagent and bought some Lilt. Becasue ‘The Lilt Man’ must be on a par with jesus. and its Got a Totally Tropicall Taste. So i thought it fits the Bill
and i added that to the Holy Water too.
So if you wonder why catholics smell of Pineapple heres your answer.
HERE COMES THE THY LILT MAN!
SANDWICH
a short video about sandwiches and mental health.(To be honest i’m still struggling to believe that it isn’t ACTUALLY butter.)
OPEN LETTER TO RENZO PIANO (Architect of The Shard)
Dear Renzo Piano. (Architect of The Shard)
You are undoubtedly an architect of great repute…. (yes this is going to be a ‘shit sandwich’ if you hadn’t already noticed: compliment, bad news, then compliment again). The Centre George Pompidou, thrilled me when I first saw it as a child. (we’re still on the compliment bit)…and my father who was also an architect spoke highly of your work as I was growing up. My brother did a year at architectural school but then dropped out and became a poet so I didn’t ask his opinion. (but I will if you want me to?)
I live in South London, less than 3 miles from your Shard. I see it often from a distance, It being such huge stamp on the London sky-line. And I have to say (and here’s the shit bit)..i think you’ve let yourself and London down. The building, its shape and size are often very impressive, especially during sunsets on a misty London backdrop. However that top bit, rather than being a clever piece of design; the coming together of three glass shards…just looks plainly unfinished. Still a building site. That bit makes the whole structure look shit. Its ok from certain angles. But from south London it just looks awful. It really makes me annoyed that, such a mammoth (and interesting structure) could be screwed up.
Okay, perhaps this reflects the London sky line as a whole. Beauty and ugliness, finished and unfinished. The Lloyd’s building, which has its inner workings exposed, is fantastic. Yet I feel this wasn’t your intention. This ‘feature’ looked fine in the architectural design. But I wonder whether you agree that in reality this was a poor part of the design? Its okay to be wrong. To make mistakes. I recently made a stop motion short animation, which looking back was actually quite poor. I got it wrong.
My Dad was an architect. Now he just sits in a chair, only just able to remember his buildings that still stand as his body and mind crumbles away. I showed him a picture of The Shard. He said it looked too big.
Hopefully in the future you will consider this letter, (see Figures 1-3) when designing new buildings . Sadly this letter turns out to be more of an ‘open shit sandwich’: Compliment then Bad news, without the other slice of compliment. Sorry.
I enclose a stamped address envelope & look forward to your response as I’m a bit bored.
Yours truly,
Kim Noble (male)
TECHNICAL SUPPORT.
Mankind faces many problems. One being the maintenance of this new website. I went on a Live Chat with a technician who tried to help me sort out some issues:
not porno.
I made a very short video.
I think its best suited to a pornographic website. Although it contains no nudity at all.
Click HERE to view the video
