PLAYING IT COOL (latest video by Kim Noble)
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbnoqINMdFs&w=480&h=390]
Posted on May 9th, 2011
© Kim Noble 2024
Kim Noble Helps with Marital Problems
This wedding card was found on the pavement outside number 65.
How many of these does your marriage have?
Joe & Tonia made references to marriage having Potholes which is not the most sensitive to say in a ‘congratulations card’. I wonder what these potholes will be.
POSSIBLE POTHOLES
Wife has affair
Husband has affair
Wife dies
Husband dies
Wife becomes vegetable
Husband Becomes vegetable
Wife leaves Husband
Husband leaves wife
Wife wakes up one morning and wonders where all the love went.
Husband leaves the house and crosses the road but slips and twists his ankle in a pothole. he fills a report to the council.
If your having marital problems click here
Posted on January 3rd, 2011
KIM NOBLE is sexual restricted
its been brought to my attention that at several offices around the country my blog has been blocked. With ‘sex’ being the main reason
i hate to feel i’m responsible for declining workrates of this countries wonderful workforce.
so from now on i’m personally filtering all my content
so don’t click here
or here or here
and i’d advise you dont click here without parental constent.
avoid this link if you are at work.
Concentrate please! This country needs you! so dont distract your self with this filth or this
Keep working! thankyou.
Posted on December 13th, 2010
Kim Noble on : Boycott GangBangs in Halfords & I hate Gingers
I love my car. I’ve gone to Portsmouth and back inside her. I’ve kissed insided her. I’ve transported an ikea flat pack table inside her. i’ve masterbated in the car park at morrisons inside her. Shes a little sluggish on motorways but great around the city.
so it was heart breaking to see the one i love get touched up and fingered by some ginger cunt who works at Halfords.
and then horror turned to disgust when i saw 3 black men, none of whom were wearing protection rooting around inside this poor slag.
I have decided to boycott this abhorrent firm and i beg you to do the same.
This is the genuine email I sent to Halfords.
I await a reply.
Posted on September 11th, 2010
FALLING IN LOVE, TITS AND CAMPING (a short film)
A SHORT FILM (about getting turned on in Topshop and other issues)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7BAkPQfb44&hl=en_US&fs=1&]
Posted on June 10th, 2010
KIM NOBLE : Always the brides maid. (How to cope with weddings if you’re single)
(“…standing at the door, watching the taxi leave, he realised that everything he ever wanted… was in it.”)
The Nominees for a new temporary partner to alleviate feelings of loneliness, desolation and failure during 6 forthcoming weddings this summer are:
A blow Up Doll
PRO’s: No complaints in the sack
CON’s :Not thrilling round the table conversation
——————————–
An 80's football Manager
PRO’S: I would appear smitten, It being Bobby Campbell, and my friends would say: “wow, doesn’t he look happy”.
CON’s : having just bumped into him in the street i doubt his availability & possible complaints in the sack.
——————————
modular outdoor flooring system
PRO’s : Impressive after dinner chat when subject amongst couples turn to the subject of ‘decking’.
CON’s : Not sure of there dietary requirements.
—————————————
A dead woman
PRO’s : no complaints in the sack
CON’s : might look awkward in the wedding photos.
————————————-
my web
Posted on May 28th, 2010
KIM NOBLE : is a ginger prick & Rohypnol
Today i bought a Bible… but i digress….
I was recently described amongst other things as being a ginger prick at student comedy night.
(and yes, i agree, do have a disgusting stomach…but its not as bad as it was a few years back during the pregnancy)
me pregnant
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6b5M2SmP3Q&hl=en_US&fs=1&]
Although factually incorrect in places i have taken onboard all comments made…
I digress….today i bought a bible and on the way home i saw this woman who seemed so lovely and peaceful that i decided to leave her to another would be attacker.
an advertisement for Rohypnol & Rape or Oxford Landing's Sauvignon Blanc or Investment in The Underground
Posted on April 21st, 2010
KIM NOBLE ON: Love Affairs and murder.
A lady writes a text on the underground:
“Gav. I think Sara is going to be fine. I spoke to her. She knows. She is upset but OK. Luv you.”
Thats what the text said. I feel sorry for you Sara. Where-ever you are Sara…I am thinking about you.
On your behalf Sara i thought i could push the texting lady on to the rails.
but I don’t know the backstory…and i remember during a session of relationship counselling i had some years back it was noted that i re-act without knowing the whole picture. So i didn’t take any action this time. This time.
In my head this is how i imagine you Sara.
SARA
And its a relief to see you looking so happy now and hopeful have put ‘the incident’ to the back of your mind.
Take Care Sara. Whoever you are.x
Posted on April 17th, 2010
KIM NOBLE AND WOMEN
i’ve been slightly worried about my lack of success with women.
i’ve decided to use Lynx Instinct Revitalising Shower Gel.
it says it : “UNLEASHES YOUR ANIMAL MAGNETISM AND EVOKES PRIMAL INSTINCTS”
after showering myself, i had to feed the cat and nearly vommed at the putrid smell of that jelly.
on leaving the house on the way to the theatre, i saw a dead rat lying in a pool of blood on the pavement
then when i got on the tube, i was forced to sit opposite this lady who played crap music very loudly.
She was a complete fucken dog.
Tomorrow i’m going to use SURE FOR MEN
Posted on January 4th, 2010
KIM NOBLE ON : RESULTS Of A-ha breakup
THANK if you voted regarding what X should do with the 2 a-ha tickets bought, but were in Y’s possession:
i’d like to thank you each individually for voting, but instead i’m sitting here picturing you….You. You. Siting else where. up right, facing this screen..
erect and engaged, reading with those eyes of yours.
READERS THIS IS FOR YOU
Back to THE A-HA GIG
Unfortunately there were 2 empty seats at the O2 centre during the A-ha performance.
but does it really matter. As long as other seats were being used. A seat is still a seat. (contrary to the view expressed by Kevin spacey’s (of K-pax fame) advert for American Airlines
X was sitting down during the concert but just in a slightly different place..here in fact:
Y, i understand, was at another NHS outlet in another part of the country..
RESULTS
10% -Ask y if x can sell the ticket(s) on ebay. a financial incentive may ease part of the heart ache.
24% -Try and forget the whole damn thing. they are y tickets now anyway, a-ha’s new album is shit and y obviously doesnt give a shit anymore.
18% -Go to the concert. perhaps it will be a nice
7% -Phone in a bomb scare on the greenwich peninsula prior to the concert.
47% -Start an a-ha tribute band. (perhaps called te-he)
others from you:
1%-Get a banner, invade the stage. let y know they are a xxxx, get free promo for x
1%-Spunk on the tickets
1%-Call up y and just insist on having the tickets back.
1%-ahh. sad problem for all. piss on her, shit in the tickets
So an a-ha band it is..in the forthcoming weeks i will put this in place….
Posted on November 5th, 2009
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